Payday 2 - Encyclopedia Dramatica (2024)

This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY sh*t GENERAL SHEPHERD FROM MODERN WARFARE 2 MAKE CAMEO APPEARANCE IN PAYDAY 2!!!!1

Payday 2 is a video game DLC game released by the greedy Swedish jews of Overkill Software on 2013. It is the sequel of Payday: The Heist, a co-op FPS game that not many people cared about.

In Payday 2, you and 3 of your friends (lol you don’t have any) players play as a group of 4 clown robbers, robbing banks, cooking meth, throwing bags, steal stuff, throwing more bags and you are given the choice of doing your missions either loudly or in a RNG-based stealth style buying overpriced DLCs every week and waiting for drills to open doors/cars to arrive/computers to get hacked/paint on the walls to dry out.

The game

Payday 2 is a co-op FPS game. 4 players go to some places rob sh*t or something. Despite having robbed thousands and thousands of banks, they can't afford better drills that don't jam every 6 seconds. The game is also very easy to hack and the community is beyond cancerous.

The game is also notorious to be a buggy pile of sh*te. From desync issues, questionable AI, weapons that don't work the way they are intended, collision issues, etc. It takes Overkill weeks and even months to fix bugs that look so simple. But if the bug in question allows players to use DLC weapons they haven't paid for they will fix this in seconds.

But none of this matters, since the whole game is about buying DLCs so you can have a slight better chance of completing heists on the Death Wish difficulty.

Oh and theres also a "career mode" which is just all the heist in the game in order, under a disguise of a "storyline".

DLC

The game and its developers quickly got notorious for its horrible DLC practices. It is to be expected since a good part of Overkill are EA veterans. They feel it is a perfectly normal industry practice to pull a weapon pack out of their asses nearly 2 or 3 weeks. And also selling stuff as DLC that are mandatory already in the base game in most FPSs. Grenades in Payday 2 are sold as DLC, yes you read that correctly. But you don't need to spend 5 bucks on them, they suck.

Of course Overkill always feel the need to remind their community we are an independent company we need your monies. Too bad their community can't realize that Payday 2 is indeed a independent game but got AAA sales. Jewberkill are far from starving or getting bankrupt.

Characters

Heisters:

Dallas: The leader of the Gayday gang, despite his name he's not from Texas, instead he's from Chicago. Badass voice actor, but that ain't saying much.

Wolf: Swedish psychopath prick who is either calm or scream batsh*t insane. Kinda annoying at times but a player favourite. His voice actor left, so Overkill was forced to sentence-mix old Wolf voicelines to make ones based around a new enemy type. Needless to say, the sounds didn't come out well.

Chains: Ex-Marine nigg*r. Not much to say about him. DIS BROKE DICK PIECE OF sh*t DRILL!!

Hoxton Houston: Dallas’ little brother. Joined the gang after britfa*g Hoxton landed in jail and the rest of the gang were too puss*ed out to give him a hand. Bad voice actor and generaly hated by everyone. After Overkill decided to cave in and bring Hoxton back, no one plays as Houston anymore.

John Wick: JOHN WICK COMING TO THEATRES OCTOBER 24 2014.

Hoxton: Britfa*g of the gang. Originally wasn’t in Payday 2 but players hated Dallas’ lil bro so much they begged Overkill to bring him back in the game. Still butthurt after 2 Years of slavery in jail.

Clover (DLC): Hoxton’s protégée. Added because players had enough of gay Payday 2 R34. Pissed off SJWs and feminazis because she is a paid female character, but Overkill is willing to do anything to get as much Jew Gold as possible.

Dragan (DLC): The Butcher's sex slave. Basically Dallas with a Croatian accent, because Overkill failed so hard to find an actual croatian voice actor who can't speak Engrish.

Jacket (DLC): The silent protagonist of the Hotline Miami series joins the gang in the form of a cross-promotion à la John Wick, but this time players love him. He communicates with a tape-recorder. Since Hotline Miami 2 is banned in Australia, everyone else but them can play as him. Fun to play as, but you'll never get the chance to, since someone else in the lobby will have taken him already.

Bonnie: Fat f*cking dyke who hails from Scotland & Hoxton's old f*ckbuddy from prison, despite being fat she runs as fast as the rest of the gang and is still able to sneak around and dodge bullets. Only loved because of her f*ckING OVERPOWERED shotgun that can literally be used as a sniper rifle.

Sokol (DLC): Russian hockey player who decided to join the gang because......... who the f*ck knows why. Overkill just want your money anyway. Apparently being a hockey player gives you a healing factor.

Jiro (DLC): After the Gage Ninja Pack DLC, Overkill want to appeal to weeaboos even more by giving them a japanese Yakuza who speak japenese and only japenese. Perhaps he is the only character Overkill put some effort in his backstory.

Bodhi: Some surfing heister dude who joined the gang because Overjew signed another action movie advertisem*nt. At least he brought a free sniper rifle with him.

Jimmy: Yet another walking action movie ad, this time in the form of a co*ked-up weirdo with no inside voice whose entire personality is 'Drugs'. Probably has a bunch of kiddie p*rn stashed on a USB drive in his basem*nt.

Sydney (DLC): Aussie c*nt with dyed hair. Almost universally hated by the fanbase, to the point that there are several popular soundmods that remove all of her voice lines entirely. Bought purely because her Anarchist perk deck breaks the game in half.

Rust (DLC): 61-year-old that thinks swearing all the time makes him cool. Makes sweet, sweet love to his motorcycle every night. In other words, he's literally just Ron Perlman.

Duke: Bland character that only exists because Oyveykill wanted to release another non-DLC heister to shut the forums up.

Sangres: Some illegal alien (literally) that Bain founds in the Tijuana crossing, Likes to talk all about Mexican sh*t being a beaner scum he is and wears nothing but Aloha shirts sewn by the hands of a Chinese sweatshop worker.

Scarface (DLC): Yet another crossover character, this time from an 80's film nobody but a /tv/fa*g would care about, as of 2020, his character pack is no longer available to purchase so lol, NVM you still can unlock him via the Payday 2 legacy collection.

Joy: A "gamer" in case if you couldn't tell from her le epic gamer shirt, solely exist because the community is getting tired jacking off to R34's of Sydney or Clover.

: Yes, you heard right. Overshill was so desperate for crossover deals that they reached out to youtube personalities (And not even good ones). Since the voice-acting of both characters is horrible, and their perk deck is next-to-useless, The only real reason for anyone to buy this is just 'lol! youtuber so funny!'. If someone joins your lobby playing as one of these, do everyone a favor and just kick them.

Contractors:

Bain: The mastermind behind Crime.net. The gang never met him in real-life, probably because Bain is safely hidden from the law in his mom's basem*nt. UPDATE: Bain was recently , and his status is currently unknown.

Vlad: Annoying Ukrainian prick. His jobs are loud and rarely involve stealth. HE'S ON RISE LIKE A f*ckIN' SPUTNIK!

Hector: Colombian drug lord. He uses the gang as his personal army on his war against the Mendozas. He ratted britfa*g Hoxton to avoid jail.

The Elephant: Corrupt politician who uses the gang for his personal agenda, like stealing a fusion engine and rigging elections.

The Dentist: Some guy nobody knows anything about that sends the gang to do big complex heists. His heists are arguably the best of the game, too bad he backstabs you by selling out Bain to Murkywater.

The Butcher: Croatian arms dealer. Her first job consisted of sending the gang to steal a nuclear bomb.

Locke: Commander Shepherd from Modern Warfare 2 rose from the dead, and brought with him heists that feel pretty much like your average Call of Duty single player mission

Jiu Feng: Ex triad Chink who also only uses the gang for his personal agendas, also Joy's ex if that amounts to anything.

Charon/The Continental: Part of John wick's DLC, Don't get your hopes up, He only gives you two heist.

Gemma McShay: Some Texan Hick who runs a human trafficking ring, nothing else to say, But at least her DLC pack came with a tons of new weapons! Nevermind they're all sh*t.

Others:

Aldstone: Hoxton's Butler that he bought all the way from Bongistan. doesn't do much besides roaming around in your safe house and talking to the paintings there.

Gage: The gang's main arm supplier. served on the Afghan war, which is also the reason why he's crippled in the first place, Words on the streets that he got shot by one of his men while looting a body of one of his dead comrade.

Solomon Garett: Minor Villain appearing on a few missions, you would a expect a guy with a Jewish name would've been the super secret mastermind bad guy of the game, just like in real life, but no we got some nigg*r who larps as a dentist instead.

Heists

Go to some places, rob stuff or sabotage stuff. There are 5 difficulties 7 difficulties now:

Normal: If you manage to fail on this you're retarded.

Hard: Very easy.

Very Hard: Easy.

Overkill: Normal.

Mayhem: Autistic brother between Overkill and Death Wish as Overjew said.

Death Wish: Butt-raping hard. Nearly impossible to complete loudly unless you have one or two DLC weapons.

Death Sentence: Since Overjew can't do anything more than jack up enemy spawn rate , increase health and damage instead of giving them new attacks, this is more of a pain in the ass than Death Wish. Due to the bow being buffed, Death Sentence Meta was born. People have to buy Gage Chivalry Pack if they wanna win on this difficulty.

Free Heists

Jewelry Store: Snatch and grab jewelry and stones like candy.

Ukrainian Job: Same as above but snatch and grab a tiara.

Diamond Store: Same as Jewelry Store, but slightly bigger.

Four Stores: Rob convenience stores.

Nightclub: Enter a Russian mob-owned nightclub to steal money from a safe. Boring.

Mallcrasher: Enter a mall and ignite a chimp-out. The least played heist of the game, needless to say.

Bank Heist (and its 2140923 different variants): GUYS, THE THERMAL DRILL. GO GET IT.

Watchdogs: Protect a co*ke shipment from the cops. Mainly played because of its high payout.

Firestarter: Steal guns from an airport, infiltrate a FBI office to steal a server or some sh*t and rob a bank exactly like the Bank Heist and its variants.

Rats: The most overplayed heist when the game was released. Once had a ridiculously high amount of XP and money payout, everyone farmed this mission to death until Overkill decided to nerf it to the point it’s not even worth playing anymore.

Framing Frame: One of the main stealth heists. Entirely RNG based. Fun only when you’re playing with friends because pubs will always manage to f*ck sh*t up somehow.

Big Oil: You're sent to steal a prototype engine using environmental clues, but it'll actually just be a game of trial-and-error because you're too stupid to be able to figure out which engine is the correct one.

GO Bank: Same as Bank Heist but with a different twist. Not played much.

Erection Day: Rig mayoral elections with either stealth or full force. One of the best heist of the game.

Shadow Raid: Infiltrate a mercenary-owned warehouse to steal random knick-knacks and samurai armor. Ruined because of RNG stealth system. Once failed, you'll get an instant kick from the butthurt host, even if you didn't cause it.

Hoxton Breakout: Free britfa*g Hoxton from the clutches of Big Brother. Only played because of the big motherf*cking high payout of XP and money.

White Xmas: Vlad's drunk inbred cousin crashed a plane full of co*ke in the woods. Save his ass and as much co*ke as possible falling from the sky in xmas present boxes.

Cook Off: After Jewberkill managed to collect enough money from the fans during the Hype Train Event, they've been really lazy to make new maps for free content, so instead they just took the Rats heist and make it into a 1 day heist. They must be high doing this while making some meth in their company.

Car Shop: 2 years and a half after the game's release, Overkill decided to add a new gameplay mechanic: Drivable cars! For some weird reasons they thought that making a proof-of-concept heist involving drivable cars completable only in stealth was a good idea.

Hoxton Revenge: The gang infiltrates a FBI guarded house to learn that Hector was the one who ratted britfa*g Hoxton. They proceed to take turns raping him to death and leave the place along with any incriminating evidence,

Meltdown: Enter the same big warehouse you already robbed in Shadow Raid to steal nuclear missiles for Vlad. The best feature of this heist are drivable forklifts, which can lead to a big lulzfest when playing with friends (if only you had any).

Aftershock: A massive earthquake destroyed most of the roads and buildings in Los angeles, the entire city is in chaos and the population is in desperate need of help but the local Police force are too busy fighting the gang stealing safes for whatever reason for Vlad.

First World Bank: The best only good heist from Payday 1 is back. Not as much fun like in the original game but still good.

Slaughterhouse: Of all the memorable heists from Payday 1 they had to bring back the worst of them

Lab Rats: DONACDUM

Santa's Workshop: Protect Vlad's Christmas elves as they pack co*ke in Christmas presents, sounds silly but this one is challenging

DLC Heists

Armored Transport: 5 heists with the same goal, intercept armored trucks and loot them. XP and money payout is not big enough to make those heists worth playing.

The Big Bank: Arguably the best heist of the game with tons of replay value. Robbing a big federal bank, Hollywood style. Stealthing this one is super hard and boring since its all RNG-based.

Hotline Miami: Kill a bunch of Russian mobsters. That’s it. Only worth buying for the SMGs included.

The Diamond: Diamonds are woman's best friend. Same as Framing Frame but worse.

The Bomb: 2 heists where you steal a bomb from mercenaries. Very cool.

The Alesso Heist: The gang enter a arena owned by the security company they have been screwing around since the first game, don't ask me why they put high-security vaults in a arena. Blow up a hole under the vaults and steal the monies while boring, repetitive electronic music by Alesso plays in the background.

Golden Grin Casino: You go to a big, nah, a small casino in Las Vegas. Use a BIG f*ckING DRILL plasma cutter to dig your way into a vault to steal the Ark of the Covenant for The Dentist. Alternatively, you can choose to be useless and spend the entire game playing with slot machines in the lobby while your teammates do all the work.

Beneath the Mountain: Storm into a military complex in the mountains stealing loot. Plays exactly like a Call of Duty single player mission.

Birth of Sky: Same as above.

Weapons

More than half of all the weapons in the game are locked behind a heavy DLC price tag. None of them are worth it, hack 'em away. We won’t bother talking about melee weapons cuz they all suck.