Far From Home [A Honkai: Star Rail Friend Insert] (2024)

Sorry for how long this took, I would have had it done over the weekend but I was busy getting my dive cert.
on the bright side, I'm now legally able to dive to 60 feet!

…Uh, I dunno. I feel like this one wasn't my best work. Hope you all enjoy it anyway.

"You know something?"

Stelle slammed her bat into the partially crushed carapace of the Juvenile Sting, sending the dying bug flying off to explode in the face of its friend with a spray of goo. The possessed Herta Doll behind the Trailblazer wiped some of the sticky hemolymph off its face with a spare rag, then tossed it to the side with a disgusted expression. "I always hated The Swarm. Not just because of the mess, or the exploding…" Hearthkeeper muttered as he summoned another rag and began scrubbing the Doll's arms. "But mostly because roaches should never have grown bigger than my boot."

Stelle glanced down at the dainty ballet shoes that were on the Doll's feet, then back up with a dull expression. "Pretty small 'boot,' there."

"S-shut up. Her Dolls come like this, ok?" Hearthkeeper cleared the Doll's throat. "Uh, right. Well, by my estimation…" He pirouetted gracefully to point at the reinforced bulkhead door further down the metal hallway. "We're just about to the big room in the middle of the creepy abandoned part of Herta's station, which I am absolutely heckling her about once we get back home, by the way."

Stelle snickered at the thought, then hefted her bat and headed down the hallway. The bartender in a Doll quickly followed after, looking around with luminous eyes as they approached the huge door. Hearthkeeper broke off to go fiddle with the control panel once they were close enough, leaving the Trailblazer standing in front of the door and casually bouncing her bat on her shoulder while she waited for the locks to disengage. "So… That weirdo in the lobby was pretty cagey about what we'd find down here. Got any bets?"

"Considering what else we've found from what Ruan Mei has been screwing with…" Hearthkeeper peered into a retina scanner with the Doll's eye, prompting a cheerful *beep* from the door controls and the muted clanking of locks within the door disengaging. "Probably a giant bag of chips that wants to go on the Interstellar Iridescence Tour." The Doll trotted over to stand next to Stelle as the last lock clanked into place, then squinted at the blast of hot, humid air that blew out as the door slid open. "…Er, maybe not?"

Stelle shrugged and stepped into the dimly lit, cavernous chamber. "Well, that certainly isn't ominous." She motioned to the shattered remains of what was clearly a giant incubation tank. "Oh look, whatever it is escaped already. Think we can just leave?" She turned around and took an involuntary step back as she came face to horn with a massive Sting. The enormous blue beetle growled lowly, something falling out of its mandibles in the process. "What is this- An Emanator!?"

"What? What the hell is Scarakabaz doing here?" The Doll gaped at the enormous insect as it began to square off against Stelle. "Is that what Ruan Mei was making down here!? It took throwing it into a black hole to put the damn thing down the first time!" Hearthkeeper looked down as something tapped against the Doll's foot, then froze as he found a broken Doll head staring blankly up at him. He followed the trail of unidentifiable fluid trickling out of the shattered neck to a crumpled torso under the giant bug's mouth.

<![if !ie]> "…Gerta?" <![endif]>

Stelle slammed her bat into the beetle's enormous horn, sending it skidding back with an enraged screech. A moment later a bottle smashed into its face, splattering flaming booze all over its features. The Trailblazer looked over at her companion and blinked as she saw the sudden outfit change that had overtaken the Doll, as well as the roiling ghostly flames wisping off Hearthkeeper's current body. He pulled out another bottle with a rag already stuffed in it and lit it with his flames, all while staring murderously at the burning bug. <![if !ie]> "Emanator… I hope you're ready to follow your Aeon into the abyss…" <![endif]> He hurled the Molotov at the bug's answering screech, then charged in after it.

Stelle, of course, grabbed her bat and dashed in after him.

Their glorious fight culminated in an enormous, alcohol-fueled fireball as Hearthkeeper summoned a significant portion of the Express' booze supply right on top of the giant bug, interrupting the charging crystalline death ray and causing a chain reaction that seemingly led to the Emanator disintegrating in the conflagration. The possessed Doll tossed another bottle of booze onto the smoldering pile of ash with some mumbled curses, fuming about the fight ending so anticlimacticly, while Stelle shook her head in dismay.

"Hmpf. Well over a minute." An annoyingly snooty voice drawled behind them. The Nameless turned to see the plaster-masked man from the elevator access strolling in, glancing between the ash pile and a tablet in his hand. "That creature was only able to sustain its existence for 56 seconds, yet you two managed to force it to hold together for an additional ten seconds. Fascinating."

The Doll sniffed and crossed it's arms.

<![if !ie]> "I wasn't about to let it just fade away without being adequately punished." <![endif]>

The plaster-masked man stared at Hearthkeeper for a moment. "…Fascinating. Well, regardless, it would seem that you've taken care of Ruan Mei's little 'problem.' Isn't it time you get going?"

"Uh, right." Stelle mumbled. She reached out and grabbed the fuming Doll and started dragging Hearthkeeper back towards the elevator. "Come on, barkeep. Let's get out of here before we burn down the station or something… Oh, actually, you never actually ate that cake that Ruan Mei gave us, right barkeep?"

"

<![if !ie]> Huh? Of course not, I'm dead. Ghosts can't eat, dummy… <![endif]>"

The man shook his head and followed after them, leaving the smoldering pile of ash to be cleaned up by the dismayed robotic stewards.

"Gerta!" The Herta Doll discussing the latest changes to the Simulated Universe turned just in time to catch Hearthkeeper's high speed hug. "Good, you're alright. I figured you were but I was kind of freaking out and forgot you use these Dolls now for a second…"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Was just talking with Screwly here about some SU updates. We're thinking of a deep dive into Nous next…" Herta patted Hearthkeeper on the possessed Doll's beret. "…Why did you think I was hurt?"

"Oh, uh…" The bartender cleared his throat as he let go and stood up straight. "Ruan Mei's giant swarm Emanator was chewing on one of your Dolls."

"Her what?" Herta wheeled around and looked across the storage zone's docking platform, making eye contact with her fellow genius (who quickly went pale as her own conversation partner pointed at Hearthkeeper and she noticed Herta giving her a death stare). Mei quickly started power walking away, followed by Herta. They slowly picked up speed until the elegant lady was sprinting in heels while the Doll was charging after her as they disappeared deeper into the storage zone.

"…Huh, guess she didn't like that much." Hearthkeeper scratched the Doll's head as the screaming duo disappeared down the hallway.

Screwllum sighed and shook his head. "This is going to make the next meeting about the Simulated Universe a bit of a nightmare, I can already tell…"

Behind them, Stelle giggled maliciously.